Area Varmints Take Notice!
The red squirrel menace has begun to be dealt with in
the greater Hubbard County area. Resident Jamie
Miller has successfully lobbied the Hubbard County Board
to modify their rodent policy. For years, the
county offered residents a .25 cent bounty for gopher,
red squirrel and other destructive rodents.
"Mrs. Miller began to contact us last winter to discuss
this policy. I thought she was going to press for
removing the bounty policy. Turns out she wanted
the bounty increased" said Board member Tom Winters.
"I got them up to $1 a piece!" Miller said slowly
raising her riffle towards a White Oak tree just outside
her kitchen window.
Cities Begin to Remove
"Hippy-Stink" from Public Areas
As spring arrives, it's more than just the smell of
daffodils and petunias downtown visitors are smelling.
It has been described as smelling like an old gym sock,
dipped in patchouli oil that got left in the back of
your locker over Easter break.
City employees armed with powerwashers have been
attempting to clean the public areas where the Occupy
movement had setup last year. The 99% apparently
left areas of downtown smelling 100% like dirt that has
been f#@%ed by a hobo. God speed powerwashers...God
speed.
Next Issue >>
Area Man Makes $8...The Hard Way...
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