The Vast Opinion Archive

Do You Want To Know How I Know....

Many loyal do.com readers knew legendary tail-hound, all-around-smart-ass, and my BFF Randy Knight. Randy has been gone for a year and half now, and I still feel the loss most every day. But every once in awhile, I run across something that I know we would laugh at, and that makes me smile.

While searching for an unrelated email, I ran across an email chain that went back and forth between us back when I started the "Want To Know How I Know Dave Is Gay?" feature. I had run out of ideas, so I sent an email to Randy asking for some suggestions. Here is a portion of the email coversation:

DO: Why don’t you come up with a Wanna Know How I Know Dave’s Gay?

RK: Do you wanna know why Dave's Gay? He wants us to send him reasons why he's gay.

DO: C'mon. Do one for real. Wanna know how I know you’re gay? You have Christina Aguilera ‘Genie in a Bottle’ as your ringtone.

RK: Wanna know how I know you're gay? You trim you're curlys at the beginning of bikini season.

DO: Really? Well, do you wanna know how I know you’re gay? You have a “Linens ‘n Things” charge card.

RK: Wanna know how I know you're gay? You TIVO "Project Runway".

DO: Oh OK, Wanna know how I know you're gay? You have a picture of Justin Timberlake in your underwear drawer.

RK: Wanna know how I know you're gay? You cruise the web figuring out different ways to be gay and you own a melon baller.

DO: OK Thanks. I think I have enough to get started. And you listen to Yanni: The Sounds of Love when you take a bubble bath.