Yeah...I know Kermit the Frog

     I got the chance to meet Kermit the Frog a few summers ago when I was in Chicago on business. The Muppets were promoting their new movie and they were staying at the Chicago O'Hare Hyatt. They made quite an entrance, with the waving of their arms, yelling and all those chickens that Gonzo dates or whatever. Later in the hotel bar, I got a chance to talk with Kermit, and I will tell you what, that is one little, bitter, green motherf-er. I guess after Jim Henson died, his kid who runs the show restructured all of their contracts and they are barely making ends meet.
     I felt kind of bad, so I ended up buying him like 8 Dewar's and Waters and we wound up at a strip club. Did I mention that is one foul mouthed frog? I have never seen anyone smacked so many times by strippers. I pulled him out of there before there was any serious trouble, but he ended up puking in the limo. I felt bad for whoever had to clean up that stinky mess of flies and scotch. I got him back to his room and didn't see him again, but I did get a nice autographed photo in the mail.
     The whole incident makes me wonder if Animal is just a really hairy guy with a coke problem.