Solar System member and long time planet Pluto was dismissed on Thursday after the International Astronomical Union went through a round of "down-sizing".
Peter Van Derweir, spokesman for the IAU said that the reductions were a necessary measure in light of recent economic realities. "Times are tough out there in intra-stellar space and we were required to make some hard decisions to keep the Solar System profitable. Because you have been on the job since the early 1930's does not entitle you to a paycheck. Please bear in mind that this move should in no way reflect upon the fine job that Pluto has done in the role as our ninth planet for the past 75 years."
While Pluto's future plans are in doubt, it has been reported that the former planet will pretend to maintain it's orbit around the sun from 9 to 5, but in actuality will hang out at the library or a local bar. "Yeah, I'll probably keep that up till my wife Charon figures out I got canned. I mean, what am I supposed to tell my kids? That I am a Trans-Neptunian object now? What the f*** is that? You ever see a help wanted sign for a Trans-Neptunian object?"
Jupiter has expressed interest in taking Pluto on as it's 64th moon. "It would be an adjustment going from one of nine planets to one of 64 natural satellites. But hey, at least the light is better here and the work day is shorter".